Drowning in thoughts…

I am so behind in my reflective posts for my Drawing Philosophy module. I think it’s just been a bit of a crazy week. It hasn’t stopped me thinking, just stopped me from documenting! I’m enjoying this option as it is awakening me to a lot of things I already knew/ thought, but never realised. We have been given texts to read by Nietzsche and Collingwood. There are aspects of both I want to look into more. Nietzsche about stepping into other realms and how you don’t make art with your eyes, you make it with your hands, but making art proper is also an imaginative act as what is going on inside your mind is really what you are ‘seeing’. And there is a difference between seeing and looking. This I understood as I very rarely, with my illustration work, make something that is just to be looked at for appreciating’s sake. I want people to depict the meaning, see what I saw when making it or what they themselves see bringing a different edge. Bringing about a question I thought of last year when writing my essay, is a piece of art work read differently by everyone as they are always interoperating in a way of which is personal to them? It is always being translated in the viewer’s language rather than that of the artist? So is your message ever really getting 100% across?

I have taken (yet another) book to read from the library. Collingwood’s Principles of Art. I am interested in his theory that these three things need to be present together in order to create expression; the artist, the medium and the idea/environment. I like the open take on this, how each one works with the next, the idea that the materials speak just as much as the artist and the environment can change the course of your work. I tend to work intuitively and this I hope will help me to understand more. At first, I believed Art was first and foremost visual, the more we have discussed and read, I have realised that when I create my work, I only dabble with the visual sense. I work a lot more on the imagination, what is going on inside my head, expressionism, rather than trying to replicate an image. I enjoy the physical process of making the work. I would say that art was a way of looking at things, but now I realise that I mean that in the sense of imagination and not just by looking with your eyes.

I am struggling with the texts and fully understanding things. A to of it goes over my head and I find myself reading the same passage over and over again. I’m battling with my concentration span a lot while trying to read. I think it’s a combination of struggling with the vocabulary and my personality. In my head is where I am a lot of the time. The discussions help a lot with my understanding. It’s also interesting to hear other people’s perspectives. I am saying ‘I’ and ‘Me’ a lot, but what I am hoping to get from these five weeks is something that I can relate to and that can help my way of working grow or be added to. I’m not going to physically or mentally be able to investigate everything, so I am taking from it what I think will be most beneficial to me. It has made me think about relating this in some way to my dissertation.

I don’t feel I have a body of work building. I have some drawing in conversations… also conversations I need to get back to, an experiment in relation to mood and environment that is on going and an experimental drawing with bleak. Which I do think I will take further into my practice. Some of the results in the class were interesting. I also enjoyed the element of surprise, not knowing how it was going to turn out, having to wait for the effect. Usually, whatever I have used to draw has instantly made marks. But mostly I have found myself engaging in discussions and reading. So although this feels worrying for assessment, I feel this option will be useful for dissertation or when I am back within my practice, helping me understand my creative personality and stance.

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