December became a no-go for my studying as I was really busy with work. I had to be realistic as it had got to the point where I was double booking appointments, turning up at personal appointments at the wrong time, booking train tickets at the wrong time, loosing stuff… something had to give. Then after being all worked out I needed a little time off to find my sanity and enjoy some holidays.
It is hard getting back into it. Being an anxious person anyway and then being anxious about initially starting again and logging on to my emails, then being anxious as I feel I’m now behind… and being too anxious to start illustrating… it doesn’t really help. It sounds like a cop-out but I think the way forward for me is to start slow and try to incorporate a bit of time to myself into each day. Looking at how overwhelmed I was before the Christmas break, I can’t really keep going at that pace, 6 days a week and work at my optimum level. I need to accept that I can’t know and do it all. I can know and do what I can and l will be better for it. Once I have caught up with my reading and referencing I want to see if my old routine works for me again. During my third year I would get up early, do house tasks, exercise, catch up with emails and blogging, speak to friends then sleep. Once I would get up and have dinner the day would become quiet and I would be more creative carrying on through the early hours. It was a routine that worked for me.
Over the next couple of days I plan to get myself caught up with what I can. Next week, or earlier if possible, I want to get making images. I have deadlines coming and the longer I put this off the harder it will become. I still have no real idea what area I want to focus on although the idea I have for an app for children is still in the forefront of my mind.