Last week I attended a workshop outside of the university called Soul Scripting. It was described as a workshop to learn techniques for written meditation. I felt this may help me sort through my thoughts on my research and help me gain focus. I am hoping that after reading, watching and engaging so much, using these techniques to get everything out may generate ideas and lessen my anxiety over the issue and also about the work itself. If I go back and reread what I have wrote I might find ideas to pursue.
I was tempted not to go into uni on Thursday as I felt I hadn’t caught up to exactly where I wanted to before starting again, but I went in anyway. I am glad I made the decision to as I was automatically more focused. It is very like to me to want to bury my head in the sand when I feel overwhelmed or not in control. It was scary getting given the deadline dates and the breakdown of the weeks because it is all too apparent that the time is going to pass so quick and I feel like I have nothing done even though before the Christmas break it took over my every thought. This could be the momentum I need to start making decisions, admitting I will not be able to read every book and paper and I need to test pieces of work and following this, narrow down my area of interest and tease out what I want to propose.I have put a call out on social media asking for old toys. I’m not sure what I am going to do with them yet in some way, I would like to the gender association away from the object or to open it up. I will test this once I have the zine made for my Contested Territories exhibition.
I received an email today to say that my application to be a Make a Difference Ambassador has been successful. I have been given some training dates and I am looking forward to the experience, although I am aware that my time is already spread pretty thinly. I’m looking forward to engaging with people and this opportunity could possibly allow me to find a place for my work or steer me in a direction I have not already considered. The training will start next month.
Also, as I am typing this there is a small section of BBC news being dedicated to fathers and what they are terming, The Fatherhood Gap. Men are speaking up and addressing that they would like the chance to have a less stressful job to free their time to help raise their children. It made me happy to hear this. The men said they dropped their high positions and took pay cuts to feel more fulfilled at home as they felt they were missing out and felt guilt that they were not giving their pars the support they needed. They are wanting more men to speak up and are wanting the support to do this in the work place. One man commented that he did not want to be the father he had; a man he did not see apart from at weekends. It makes me feel hopeful when I see people putting these issue in the public eye that society could be changing for the people that want it.